A lot of things have happened since I last posted, and it's been a while since I have, but I feel moved to share something I just wrote for an assignment. If you have thoughts of suicide, please talk to someone.
The importance of identifying and addressing suicidal ideation in
others cannot be understated. I personally have lost a close person to suicide.
For me, it was my godfather – the man who delivered me when I was born. This
was someone who could have been a major influence on my life, but instead was
lost to the world when I was only six years old.
There are two ways in which I look at the tragedy of my
godfather’s death. The first is this: it is important for us to be able to talk
about suicide on a variety of levels. As I was six years old, my parents chose
to tell me that my godfather had died of natural causes and did not discuss the
true manner in which he died. However, I found out how he had actually died
around a year later, and from a friend of my own age; I can remember it very
distinctly, as it felt to me as though I had lost him all over again, but this
time my memories of him were tarnished by the taboo of suicide. I think we as
social workers need to understand the implications of death and of suicide at a
variety of ages, and feel comfortable discussing this with children,
adolescents, and adults. I would have benefited from a better, if maybe not
fully detailed, understanding of how my godfather passed, despite my being so
young.
The
second way I view this tragedy is this: it is madness that a man with a medical
degree who was currently practicing in a medical field did not feel as though
he could seek out help, and that no one saw the signs of suicidal thoughts in
him. It seems unreal to me that he could hide his severe depression and
suicidal ideation from so many. My godfather had a long and early history of
trauma. I do not doubt that these traumas fed into his depression and his
inability to handle certain stressors, like having a newborn son of his own.
However, that his wife did not seek help for him, and that his friends and
colleagues did not either, points to the overwhelming fact that seeking help
for suicide continues to be too stigmatized to be accessible. Until we remove
the stigma from seeking help, we will continue to see wonderful people take
their own lives.
The
pain of losing someone has long impacts. My godmother has had many of her own
issues, many of which I feel relate to the traumas of losing a loved one to
suicide. Their son has lost a lot in not having a father. My parents and our
community lost an amazing friend and doctor. I lost a wonderful relationship
with an intelligent man. How can these losses be preferable to banning the
stigma of seeking help?
